Thoughts From The Hospital

First, this is a women’s hospital and, when I’ve been dispatched to go forage for something outside of the hospital, I would often see the pregnant bellies everywhere, like a bump convention. These moms are really cool in one sense, but when you see the bumps attached to a person holding a smoldering cigarette, you want to scream.

How can you do this? What are you thinking? You are not honestly this stupid!

On another note, the hospital menu surprized me — it actually looked good. This was a bit disorienting, because you’re accustomed to nasty food served like gruel to Oliver Twist in a bucket. But thank goodness there are some things in the world you can count on. Despite the beautiful menu and pictures blah blah blah, the food came out and was as predictably inedible as one might expect.

The earth turns, continents drift, and hospital food is awful. Some things you can truly count on.

Finally, it’s really true that nurses are generally overweight. And I don’t get this at all, but it is a generalization that actually holds up. Why would it be that this particular profession is more prone than your average walmart shopper to be drastically overweight? Maybe its because they’re stressed (a driver of overweight) or perhaps because they are munching on nasty hospital food or, worse, hospital vending machine snacks in plastic wrappers.

Nurses need something. As a profession, the nurses Union or Association or Moose Lodge should get together and change this unhealthy situation.